Great memories of Kurt and Rocco

Kurt Learns About Health Insurance" recapPosted: Mar 11 2010, 10:24 AMKurt, remember all of those times that Rocco pissed on your face? Remember how some of his piss got trapped in your ears, giving you "swimmer's ear"? Remember when you thought you had an infection so you went to see a doctor? Remember when you informed the doctor that your high school principal had pissed in your ears? Remember when the doctor called you a "Hook-nosed Jewish cocksucking faggot"? Remember when the doctor said, "this should clear everything up" and then jammed a rusty nail into your ear? Remember how the doctor punctured your eardrum and blood gushed out? Remember when the doctor said, "Voila! The blood forced the piss and lots of earwax out of your ear. That will be $350!" Remember when you yelled, "Zoinks!" and said that you didn't have any health insurance? Remember how mad that made the doctor? Remember when the doctor torn off your Zubaz and started whipping you in the nuts with his stethoscope? Remember when the doctor started jabbing you in the nuts with various used hypodermic needles that were in the medical waste bin? Remember how relieved you were when the office door opened because you thought that someone was going to rescue you from your misery? Remember how less relieved you were when you saw Dner and noticed that she was fingering herself? Remember when you noticed Mr. Rocco standing behind Dner? Remember how Rocco was doing Dner right in the ass? Remember when Rocco pulled his cock out of Mrs. Power's ass and blew a huge load into your Jew-fro? Remember when the doctor placed you onto a movable bed and then pushed it, running toward the window at the end of the hall? Remember when the hospital bed crashed through the window and you fell down onto a car in the parking lot 3 stories below? Remember when you managed to look up and saw Rocco, the doctor, and Dner all giving each other hi-fives? Remember when you temporarily passed out? Remember when you regained consciousness as Rocco was lifting you into the nearby trash dumpster and then left you for dead? Remember when you were ass-raped by several bums over the next few days until you finally escaped? You sure learned about the need for health insurance that time! "Bayside Parent-Teacher Conferences" recapPosted: Mar 9 2010, 11:00 AMKurt, remember that episode where Rocco told Mr. and Dner what a hook-nosed loser you were during parent-teacher conferences at Bayside? Remember how you showed up with your parents to the event? Remember when you said "Zoinks!" when Rocco told your parents what a shithead you were? Remember when Rocco got mad for some reason and then pulled down your Zubaz and started viciously ass-raping you right in front of your parents? Remember when John Dado started giving Rocco hi-fives and cheering him on while you begged for mercy? Remember when Dner started fingering herself during this incident? Remember when Rocco pulled out of your ass and then John Dado finished sucking him off? Remember when Rocco came and then John Dado spit out Rocco's cum into your jew-fro? Remember when Dner had a powerful orgasm? Remember when you heard a rumbling sound coming from the ceiling? Remember when you looked up and saw that the entire ventilation shaft was coming down and crumpling? Remember when the ventilation shaft hit Rocco's desk and snapped in half? Remember when Your ugly cunt of a mother rolled out and you noticed that Your ugly cunt of a mother wasn't wearing any pants and was masturbating vigorously? Remember how Your ugly cunt of a mother suffered massive lacerations on his legs and back when the ventilation shaft snapped in two? Remember how Your ugly cunt of a mother continued to jerk off at a feverish pace despite massive blood loss? Remember when Your ugly cunt of a mother blew his load and then passed out from his injuries and was later transported to a hospital where he was placed on life support? Remember how Mr. and Dner blamed you for Your ugly cunt of a mother's injuries and grounded you because Rocco's review of your performance at Bayside was so bad? You really had a fucked-up family life that time! "Kurt Learns not to Taunt Tyrone Leakums" recapPosted: Feb 23 2010, 07:31 AMKurt, remember how you were in San Francisco last week to visit your dad on SBTB, John Dado, while he was sucking off random HIV+ dudes at one of the many gloryholes in the Castro District? Remember when you saw the video on youtube of the Epic Beard Man giving a beating to Tyrone Leakums, the black instigator of the altercation on the bus? Remember how Tyrone reminded you of Your retarded father, so you hung outside the hospital where Tyrone was sent for medical attention? Remember how you planned on heckling Tyrone when he emerged from the hospital? Remember when he walked out and you yelled, "Yo Tyrone, are you still leakin'? You got your ass whipped! Can you shine my Converse hi-tops! Zoinks!" Remember how mad this made Tyrone Leakums and he decided to teach you a lesson? Remember when Tyrone yanked off your Converse hi-tops and jammed them up your ass and said, "You honkey muthafucka, is they shined to your liking now?" Remember when Tyrone pulled the Converse shoes out of your ass and then raped you prison-style? Remember when he unloaded his HIV+ seed in your ass and then saw some of his jism dripping out of your ass and said, "Ooh, you really be leakin' now!!! Welcome to da world of AIDS, muthafucka!!!" Remember when Tyrone finally let you go and then you ran to the caring arms of John Dado at the rest stop gloryhole? Remember when you tearfully explained what had happened? Remember when John Dado started jerking off and then blew a huge load into your jew-fro? You sure learned not to fuck with people that time! "Kurt Learns Not to Lecture Rocco" recapPosted: Feb 9 2010, 06:11 AMKurt, remember that episode where Rocco took you to lunch at a McDonald's? Remember how the McDonald's was still using the old styro-foam containers? Remember when you lectured Rocco on the dangers to the environment caused by plastics? Remember how annoying you were being? Remember how mad that made Rocco? Remember when Rocco said, "That's enough, let's go Kurt!" Remember when Rocco started driving back to Bayside and he said you and he would continue eating in his rusty 1986 Yugo? Remember when Rocco chucked several styro-foam containers out the window while he was driving home just to piss you off? Remember when Rocco said, "I'm feeding plastic to the environment, you stupid ass-fucking Jew bastard!" Remember when a policeman saw the garbage fly out the window and pulled Rocco's car over to the side of the road? Remember when Rocco lied to the policeman and said that you were the one who had littered? Remember when the policeman lectured you on highway safety and then arrested you and sent you to county jail? Remember when you were thrown in a cell with a bunch of racist crackheads who proceeded to call you a "Jew bastard," "pubic head," and "cocksucker"? Remember when you found out that several of the crackheads were related to Your retarded father? Remember when they raped you for several hours until your dad, John Dado, showed up to bail you out? Remember when you ran to his arms and told him what the other prisoners had done to you? Remember when that turned him on and then he sucked off several of your rapists? You sure deserved what happened to you that time for being such a shithead! "Rocco Tires to Abort Kurt's Butt-Baby" recapPosted: Feb 4 2010, 12:11 PMKurt, remember that episode where you informed Mr. Rocco that you were pregnant with a butt-baby and were scared? Remember when Rocco said that you shouldn't worry and that he would purchase a Zubaz-branded product that would abort your butt-baby? Remember how you naively assumed that the Zubaz company must have started selling an abortion pill? Remember when Rocco showed up at your house the next day and said the he was going to help you out? Remember how you assumed he was going to give you the abortion pill? Remember how shocked you were when Rocco pulled out a cheap coat hanger made of twisted metal and that had word "Zubaz" written in marker across it? Remember when Rocco punched you in your hook nose, causing you to collapse onto the floor? Remember when Rocco yanked off your Zubaz pants and then violently jammed the coat hanger up your rectum in an effort to kill the fetus growing anally in your colon? Remember when Rocco said that he thought he had killed the butt-baby and then pulled out the hanger from your now-bloody rectum and then started whipped you in your tiny nuts with the coat hanger? Remember when you passed out from massive blood loss and then woke up in the emergency room hours later? Remember how the doctor said that you were pregnant with a butt-baby and that Rocco's attempts to abort the butt-baby had pierced your liver, appendix, stomach, and colon, but had completely missed the anal fetus? Remember when you had to undergo intensive therapy to regain control of your bowels and heal your internal organs? Remember when you gave birth to young Zoinks Kurt a month into your hospital stay and have had to care for him ever since? Remember how Rod Rocco was your nurse? Remember when Rod would viciously ass-rape you when he was supposed to he guiding you through rehab exercises? The Roccos really screwed you over that time! "Kurt Learns About Drug Abuse" recapPosted: Jan 25 2010, 09:00 AMKurt, remember how Rocco, Your ugly cunt of a mother, and Your retarded father would smoke crack in the Teacher's Lounge at Bayside during lunch break? Remember when Rocco told you that Mylo sold the best crack rocks? Remember how you felt left out and asked Rocco to score you a hit of some crack rock yourself? Remember how Rocco asked for $100 and said he'd get a crack rock for you to smoke? Remember how you had never seen a crack rock before and were excited when Rocco handed you a hard black material that he referred to as his "crack rock"? Remember how smelly it was, but Rocco said that was to be expected? Remember when you placed it in your Zubaz-brand crack pipe and then smoked it? Remember when you started coughing from the smell and then looked over and saw Your ugly cunt of a mother jerking off behind a file cabinet? Remember when Rocco said, "How do ya like my crack rock, Kurt? It's a a chunk of shit that was stuck to my matted ass hair - so it's really my 'ass-crack rock,' you Zubaz-wearing cocksucker!" Remember when Rocco threw his keyboard at you and then kicked you in the junk? Remember when you fell over and then Mylo jumped out of the closet and started sodomizing you with his mop while Rocco lodged his massive cock down your throat? You sure learned about the dangers of drug abuse that time! "Kurt Learns About Batteries" recapPosted: Jan 21 2010, 10:05 AMKurt, remember that episode where Rocco saw Slater rush into the boy's bathroom on taco day? Remember when he ordered you to sneak into the bathroom with a cassette recorder and record the sounds of Slater farting and going diarrhea so that he could listen to the tape later while jerking off? Remember when the batteries in your cassette recorder ran out of power five minutes into Slater's 15-minutes diarrhea session? Remember how the batteries were drained because you had listened to your "New Kids on the Block" tape for 6 hours the previous day? Remember when you informed Rocco that you were not able to record all of Slater's bathroom visit? Remember how mad that made Rocco? Remember when Rocco grabbed your cassette recorder and smacked you in the face with it? Remember when the cassette recorder broke into pieces? Remember when Rocco grabbed one of the bigger pieces that had a sharp edge and stabbed you in the nuts and ass with it? Remember when he stabbed you in the neck and tried to kill you? Remember when he ass-raped you shortly before you lost consciousness due to massive blood loss? Remember when you regained consciousness a few hours later and woke up in a hospital bed? Remember when a doctor informed you that you were a dirty HIV+ faggot and would need to undergo intensive therapy for the next few months to recover from the attack? You sure learned to use fresh batteries that time! "Kurt learns about Sex ed" recapPosted: Jan 19 2010, 10:24 AMKurt, remember that time when you Mr. Rocco was a special substitute teacher for Health class? Remember how the topic that day was Sex education? Remember when you the class started with Rocco eating some greasy tacos from Taco Bell? Remember when your mom on the show, Dner, walked into the class 10 minutes later? Remember when Dner took off her skirt, panties, shirt, and bra and threw them at you? Remember when Rocco said, "Kurt, come over here and I'll teach you about sex? Remember when Rocco dropped his 52-inch waist polyester pants? Remember how he wasn't wearing any underwear? Remember how the entire room quickly started to smell like Rocco's ass? Remember when Rocco started doing Dner right in the ass and then Slater pushed your face up against Rocco's butt as he thrust his massive cock in and out of Dner' cornhole? Remember how sweaty Rocco's ass was getting? Remember when Rocco ripped a wet fart in your face? Remember when Slater pushed your nose right into Rocco's ass crack as he pounded away at Dner' butthole? Remember when Rocco pulled his cock out of Dner and then blew his diseased load all over your face? Remember when he smacked you in the face with his cock and then turned around and sprayed diarrhea right in your face and then wiped his ass clean with your jew-fro and neatly trimmed beard? Remember when Dner pushed you onto the floor and then inserted your huge nose into her stank cooch? Remember when she bounced up and down on your face and pleasured herself as your hook nose went in and out of her pussy? Remember when she queefed right in your face and then had an orgasm? Remember when you spent the next six years receiving psychologocal counseling after this incident? You really learned about sex that time! "Kurt Dresses As a $3 Bill" recapPosted: Dec 30 2009, 07:39 PMKurt, remember that Halloween episode of Saved By The Bell where you asked Mr. Rocco for some Halloween costume suggestions? Remember when Rocco recommended that you dress up as a $3 bill? Remember how you thought that was a great idea and made up a $3 bill costume? Remember when you wore that costume to Bayside and everyone called you a stupid faggot? Remember when Mr. Dewey said, "Kurt, are you finally out of the closet? You're as queer as a $3 bill!!!" Remember when you started crying? Remember how Rocco was dressed as a Department of Treasury agent and said, "Kurt, you are under arrest for trying to pass a counterfeit bill?" Remember when you said, "Zoinks!" Remember when Rocco got mad and said, "Stop resisting arrest, shithead!" Remember when Rocco handcuffed you to the railing on the Bayside stairs and ass-raped you while about 75 students cheered him on and clapped? Remember how Kevin the Robot rolled through the hallway? Remember how Mr. Your ugly cunt of a mother was sitting on Kevin the Robot's head with his pants down around his ankles and was masturbating vigorously? Remember when you heard a loud snap and saw that Kevin's titanium casing had collapsed under the massive stress caused by supporting Your ugly cunt of a mother's morbidly obese body? Remember how Kevin was almost as flat as a pancake, except for a few screws sticking out that punctured Your ugly cunt of a mother's stomach and lungs? Remember how Your ugly cunt of a mother suffered from a collpased lung and almost died? Remember when 15 kids raped you after Rocco blew his load up your ass? You sure were as a queer as a $3 bill that time!