My visit with Kurt’s whore Mom

I recently had lunch with Kurt’s whore of a mother. Kurt wasn’t kidding when he said his Whore Mom is a workaholic, she kept offering to pleasure me for a fiver. Her breath stank of stale sperm and monkey ball sweat. She burped a couple of times during lunch and cleared the table of people sitting next to us. As they walked out they complained to the manager about smelling raw sewage. Some find that to be a bad thing. Not me! They don't call me Gunter the shit eating king for nothing.

We shared a few laughs when she was reminiscing about the day Kurt was born. She describes a very strange pregnancy and delivery, mainly because she didn’t really have a clue which man was Kurt’s father. Another reason it was very difficult for her is because she was turning tricks up to the day Kurt came into the world. It is hard to pay the rent when you are a butt ugly whore.

She was telling me how she remembers very fondly how special Kurt was. She had never experienced anything like this while giving birth to any of his other siblings. As he was passing through her greasy snatch Kurt took a big lick, which surprised and pleased her the same time. New born babies typically don’t smile, but Kurt was smiling the remnants of her last john glistening on his face. The lick was a welcome surprise, but Kurt was born with an erection which brushed against her G-spot as his body passed through her slimy cavern coated in jizz and shit from the last shit orgy. It was so shocking that it caused her to lose control of her bowels, unfortunately her sphincter was over used and she couldn’t stop the tidal wave. As the cold air hit baby Kurt’s body he cried and his mouth filled with diarrhea. She really feels that it was this diarrhea and jizz baptism that led to his obsession with feces. This also blessed him with the ability to endure the most fowl experiences in life.

Most babies would have died from the the shit in the mouth. Not Kurt though! He enjoyed every last bit of it. After that he would only fall to sleep if his soother was dipped in dog shit. Poor Kurt! Bad breath, brown teeth and a taste for dog shit from a very young age.(sounds like a country song, but it should be the song of Kurt's sad life)