I went to see my doctor recently because it really burns when I urinate. The doc asked me to take off my clothes so he could get a better look. I complied and dropped my drawers. Next thing I knew the doctor was really angry, he yelled at me, he wanted to know how the hell he was going to diagnose me without being able to see my penis. My voice quivering, I told him that, if he stimulated me, my penis would be visible.
That set the doctor into a fit of rage, he proceeded to kick me repeatidly in the groin. Eventually my penis became erect, and I was feeling pleasure instead of pain. He was still disgusted, my minuscule penis was inflamed and barely visible to the naked eye. He took a closer look and he said: hey rice dick, you have got the clap! A little penecillin and you'll be fine. Next time do us all a favor, don't worry about your little pee pee so much, light a candle, host a vigil for your little shrinky dink and go bother your mommy with your petty problems. The one thing I took home from this was I remember how much I loved when my mom used to wake me up in the very same way. She used to kick my groin yelling wake up broken golf tee dick, breakfast is ready. At which point the insanity insued, she would sit on my face and smother me with her nasty snatch. Those were the days I tell ya.
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